Category: UK politics

Regular

Me observing the reaction by Johnson fans to the news reports of police being called to his house over a potential domestic incident:

Oh goodie, I guess the “FAKE NEWS!” defence has finally made the full-on jump from Trumpism to Johnsonism over here. Fan-fucking-tastic.

Regular

It’s getting harder to laugh at America’s political issues when we’re about to have a blonde ludicrous cretinous moron as our head of government and a Tory MP literally just assaulted a woman and Tory voters are coming out of the woodwork to justify and excuse him by making up unfounded conspiracy theories about the woman that was attacked.

So, y’know, we’ve got our own fucking issues going on right here.

Regular

At this point I want Jeremy Hunt to become PM for some very simple reasons:

  1. He’s objectively a tad more tolerable as a public figure than Boris Johnson is.
  2. I’d win money on that bet I placed ages ago.
  3. We’d get even more moments of newsreaders accidentally saying ‘cunt’ on live TV when talking about him.

Regular

I mean at least now the weird fawning over Rory Stewart can end. It was more than a bit creepy and utterly stupid to begin with anyway.

Yes when asked during this leadership campaign he managed to sound moderately more sensible about Brexit than the rest of this gaggle of loathsome fucking monsters but that’s a ludicrously low bar to clear to the point where I’d wager almost everyone could do it without much effort at all.

Outside of that he’s still a generic Tory with all the bullshit that goes with that, and given recent polling showed that Tory voters are apparently more than willing to risk breaking up the UK and destroying the Tory party itself just to get their Brexit, nobody should be surprised that a Tory who’s capable of paying vague lip service to not setting everything on fire upon the satanic altar of Brexit ended up not making it to the finale of the Tory leadership contest.

We all knew we were going to get an absolute fucking cunt as our next Prime Minister, this changes nothing.

We’re all still fucked. Rory Stewart wasn’t a beacon of hope, he just seemed that way when stood directly next to slimeballs like Hunt and Gove or the dribbling ignoramus that is Boris Johnson.

Abandon all hope, it’s easier to accept the inevitable that way.

Regular

… why the fuck am I watching this debate? 

I hate all of these people and have no say in which of them becomes overlord, so what the fuck is the point of me wasting an hour of my time?

Regular

I think it probably goes without saying that I have what we’ll called mixed feelings about Chuka Umunna joining the Liberal Democrats.

What I don’t understand most about it is people mocking it as a careerist self-serving political move to preserve his own interests.

Dude left the Labour Party, despite holding a safe as all hell Labour seat, to join a failed experiment that immediately collapsed and then went from that to joining a party that has taken the vast majority of everyone’s shit for the past 9 fucking years to the point where they’re still almost universally regarded as a political punchline for so many people.

At the next election he has to try and overturn effectively his own 26,285 vote majority or he’s out of a job.

The Liberal Democrat candidate in his seat at the last election got 34,601 less votes than he did.

This was not a smart careerist move for him, because he’s basically (barring some electoral wizardry or miracle) fucked himself right out of Parliament eventually.

I know the Lib Dems are polling well right now and cleaned up well in London in the European Parliamentary elections but come on now.

Unless he thinks he got 38,212 votes based on his singular political brilliance and not as a result of the colour of rosette he happened to be wearing, and if that’s his thinking then my mixed feelings about him joining get decidedly less mixed because if he thinks that he’s obviously a moron.

Regular

Sometimes it’s fun to imagine a parallel universe out there where in 2010 the Liberal Democrats soared into government with a solid majority, didn’t have to bloody themselves with damaging compromise in coalition, and literally none of the absolute bullshit of the last 9 years ever happened.

No David Cameron, no Lib Dems getting sent into electoral exile, no EU referendum, no Brexit, actual electoral reform to eliminate FPTP, no Theresa May, no Tory leadership challenge, no Boris Johnson as PM-in-waiting.

… sorry did I say it was fun to think that?

What I meant to say is WHY THE FUCK ARE WE STUCK IN THIS STUPID HORRIFIC TIMELINE!?

Regular

So the results are in from the first round of voting for the Tory leadership and according to my detailed in-depth analysis of the votes received… 

we are all turbo-fucked.

It says a lot about the absolute fucking lunat…

It says a lot about the absolute fucking lunatic state of the Tories that I legit had to Google these MPs just to make sure they didn’t actually name their child Brexit.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Opinion_polling_…

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Opinion_polling_for_the_next_United_Kingdom_general_election#Graphical_summary

Politics is kind of fucking crazy right now if you look at Westminster voting intention polling recently.

This is a very mixed bag in terms of ‘good thing’ or ‘bad thing’ opinions about it.

The good is that the Liberal Democrats are way up, that Tories are collapsing, that UKIP is dead, and to a lesser extent that Change UK are a total irrelevance.

The bad is that roughly one full quarter of the voting population are apparently willing to vote into Parliament members of a party that has no manifesto and absolutely no policy positions on anything that isn’t just complaining that Brexit hasn’t happened yet.

I may hate the Tories and be largely just sick of Labour in general but at least they actually have policies and ideas.

The Brexit Party is the height of pure anti-intellectualism in politics and it leading the polling is nothing short of fucking dangerous.