Category: tory party

Tories: “Stop calling us scum, it’s really offensive and damaging!”Me:

Tories: “Stop calling us scum, it’s really offensive and damaging!”

Me:

Blimey, I’m amazed he could fit a figure that large up his arse…

Blimey, I’m amazed he could fit a figure that large up his arse what with that stick he’s already got up there.

How unpopular does a government need to be for it to be headline-making news that a whole shitload…

How unpopular does a government need to be for it to be headline-making news that a whole shitload of people were actively tracking the flight a Cabinet Minister is on to count down to her getting fired?

That’s insane but that’s a thing that actually happened.

Sometimes I love my country.

You know… I kind of want Boris Johnson to be Prime Minister.I mean, I want him to be it in…

You know… I kind of want Boris Johnson to be Prime Minister.

I mean, I want him to be it in the same dark and twisted, masochistic way that some part of my brain wanted Donald Trump to become President: Because I know the resulting catastrophic shitshow would be at least kind of hilarious to laugh at and relentlessly mock in the brief moment of time before it fucking kills us all.

Jesus, just imagine how absolutely fucked your party must be for it to reach the point where Boris…

Jesus, just imagine how absolutely fucked your party must be for it to reach the point where Boris fucking Johnson is the only person who might be able to save you.

That speech really was just Theresa May’s premiership in microcosm wasn’t it?Awkward,…

That speech really was just Theresa May’s premiership in microcosm wasn’t it?

Awkward, cringe-inducing to watch, with things literally falling apart as she desperately tries to pretend everything’s fine.

No, Theresa May is not going to fire Boris Johnson.

She gave him the high-profile job in the first place to quell any possible leadership challenge as she perceived him as the most prominent and formidable opponent she could have if she had to fight for her leadership.

Firing him is pretty much the one course of action all-but guaranteed to increase the chance of an internal rebellion against her and a challenge with Johnson as the favoured replacement as Tory leader.

He can say any dumb shit he wants. As long as he is even remotely perceived as being in any way a threat to her leadership she’s going to keep him in a prominent cabinet position.

Because the only thing we can ever trust Theresa May on is that defending her own position of power is always more important to her than anything else.

Are we really trusting Brexit to the government of a woman who can’t comprehend that when appearing…

Are we really trusting Brexit to the government of a woman who can’t comprehend that when appearing as the Prime Minister in “Prime Minister’s Questions” you actually have to bother to answer at least some of the aforementioned questions at some point?

Government wins vote on EU withdrawal bill with majority of 36 – as it happened

Government wins vote on EU withdrawal bill with majority of 36 – as it happened:

I really, really wish politics would stop giving me reasons to use this clip but the fucking Tories and this hideous sham of a ‘government’ keep making it basically impossible not to.

So apparently having fucked up her plan to secure a majority via electoral means, Theresa May’s new…

So apparently having fucked up her plan to secure a majority via electoral means, Theresa May’s new plan is to just pretend she has one and enforce the nonsense idea that she does by manipulating boring Parliamentary procedures and rules to make it harder for anything her minority government does to be challenged.

You just know she did this because she thought it’d be so boring a procedural footnote that she hoped nobody would notice until it was already done.

Is there was every any doubt in anyone’s mind that ‘democracy’ is less important to Tories than ‘power’ and always will be, here’s hoping this latest bit of ridiculous nonsense disabuses them of the notion.