Category: tory party

I keep saying “there’s no such thing as a decent human being in the Tory party” and thank you to Boris Johnson for making that true once again by removing the Tory whip from any of them who had the basic decency to stand up to your maniacal thoughtless bullshit.

Because not content with selecting a ludicrous buffoonish psychopath like Boris Johnson as Prime Minister, apparently some fucking maniacs actually want Angry Cheese Lady Liz Truss to be the Chancellor of the fucking Exchequer.

These people really are the absolute worst and stupidest examples of humanity and we’re letting them pick the next fucking government entirely amongst themselves.

We’re all dead, people. We’re just dead. We’re alive but we’re dead. Game over man, game over!

Tory members ‘back death penalty and think Trump would make a good PM’:

I just… I’m sorry but I don’t see how “Tory members are marauding psychopaths with no stable grip on objective reality” is worthy of being headline news.

I just thought it was a generally understood thing to the point that nobody needed to actually say it out loud because we all knew it and all had it in our minds whenever discussing that gaggle of absolute fucking monsters.

It’s getting harder to laugh at America’s political issues when we’re about to have a blonde ludicrous cretinous moron as our head of government and a Tory MP literally just assaulted a woman and Tory voters are coming out of the woodwork to justify and excuse him by making up unfounded conspiracy theories about the woman that was attacked.

So, y’know, we’ve got our own fucking issues going on right here.

Politics is kind of fucking crazy right now if you look at Westminster voting intention polling recently.

This is a very mixed bag in terms of ‘good thing’ or ‘bad thing’ opinions about it.

The good is that the Liberal Democrats are way up, that Tories are collapsing, that UKIP is dead, and to a lesser extent that Change UK are a total irrelevance.

The bad is that roughly one full quarter of the voting population are apparently willing to vote into Parliament members of a party that has no manifesto and absolutely no policy positions on anything that isn’t just complaining that Brexit hasn’t happened yet.

I may hate the Tories and be largely just sick of Labour in general but at least they actually have policies and ideas.

The Brexit Party is the height of pure anti-intellectualism in politics and it leading the polling is nothing short of fucking dangerous.

With the Tories almost inevitably with their new leader set to move harshly into the ‘No Deal Brexit, woo!’ camp of thought right alongside Farage’s gaggle of stupid malicious cunts, the Labour party is going to have to really pull it’s fucking thumb out of its arse and get on board the ‘just stop Brexit’ train here.

The smaller parties like the Lib Dems and Greens in England, the SNP in Scotland and Plaid in Wales are going to need Labour as one of the two major parties to fucking get on side to stop Boris fucking Johnson or whatever hard Brexiting shitstirrer the psychotic Tories install as overlord from yanking us out of the EU with no deal and fucking the entire country to satisfy them and their owns’ private interests.

Come on Tories, make Jeremy Hunt your next leader. After 9 years of putting up with your bullshit you may as well give me £48.75 for my troubles.

So when Theresa May finally, finally, finally decides to actually fuck off this is the reported potential list of challengers for the Tory leadership:

  • Jeremy Hunt
  • Sajid Javid
  • Amber Rudd
  • Michael Gove
  • Matt Hancock
  • Liz Truss
  • Gavin Williamson
  • Andrea Leadsom
  • Stephen Barclay
  • Penny Mordaunt
  • Boris Johnson
  • Dominic Raab

It’s like a who’s who of utter lunatics, nobodies and psychotics that I wouldn’t let run a fucking bath for me for fear of them managing to drown themselves in the tub while trying.

The only ones I can’t think of something absolutely fucking hideous, or absolutely fucking stupid, or both, about are the two whose names I genuinely don’t even think I’d ever heard before I saw this list. Hi Matt Hancock and Stephen Barclay, I’m sure I’ll hate you too once I find out who the fuck you even are.

This leadership contest is going to be a fucking clown car pileup of epic proportions.

Me: Okay there can’t be any way British politics can get more insane and stupid right now, we’re at peak ludicrous.

8 Labour MPs and 3 Tory MPs: Hold our beers.

Oh sorry, I mean “cabinet agrees Brexit deal.”