Politics is kind of fucking crazy right now if you look at Westminster voting intention polling recently.
This is a very mixed bag in terms of ‘good thing’ or ‘bad thing’ opinions about it.
The good is that the Liberal Democrats are way up, that Tories are collapsing, that UKIP is dead, and to a lesser extent that Change UK are a total irrelevance.
The bad is that roughly one full quarter of the voting population are apparently willing to vote into Parliament members of a party that has no manifesto and absolutely no policy positions on anything that isn’t just complaining that Brexit hasn’t happened yet.
I may hate the Tories and be largely just sick of Labour in general but at least they actually have policies and ideas.
The Brexit Party is the height of pure anti-intellectualism in politics and it leading the polling is nothing short of fucking dangerous.
With the Tories almost inevitably with their new leader set to move harshly into the ‘No Deal Brexit, woo!’ camp of thought right alongside Farage’s gaggle of stupid malicious cunts, the Labour party is going to have to really pull it’s fucking thumb out of its arse and get on board the ‘just stop Brexit’ train here.
The smaller parties like the Lib Dems and Greens in England, the SNP in Scotland and Plaid in Wales are going to need Labour as one of the two major parties to fucking get on side to stop Boris fucking Johnson or whatever hard Brexiting shitstirrer the psychotic Tories install as overlord from yanking us out of the EU with no deal and fucking the entire country to satisfy them and their owns’ private interests.
Come on Tories, make Jeremy Hunt your next leader. After 9 years of putting up with your bullshit you may as well give me £48.75 for my troubles.
So when Theresa May finally, finally, finally decides to actually fuck off this is the reported potential list of challengers for the Tory leadership:
- Jeremy Hunt
- Sajid Javid
- Amber Rudd
- Michael Gove
- Matt Hancock
- Liz Truss
- Gavin Williamson
- Andrea Leadsom
- Stephen Barclay
- Penny Mordaunt
- Boris Johnson
- Dominic Raab
It’s like a who’s who of utter lunatics, nobodies and psychotics that I wouldn’t let run a fucking bath for me for fear of them managing to drown themselves in the tub while trying.
The only ones I can’t think of something absolutely fucking hideous, or absolutely fucking stupid, or both, about are the two whose names I genuinely don’t even think I’d ever heard before I saw this list. Hi Matt Hancock and Stephen Barclay, I’m sure I’ll hate you too once I find out who the fuck you even are.
This leadership contest is going to be a fucking clown car pileup of epic proportions.
Me: Okay there can’t be any way British politics can get more insane and stupid right now, we’re at peak ludicrous.
8 Labour MPs and 3 Tory MPs: Hold our beers.
Oh sorry, I mean “cabinet agrees Brexit deal.”
To my mind, the Lib Dems are right about so much and yet it does them no good. They consistently opposed the Iraq war, for example, which is now an extremely mainstream view. Obviously the Labour party is very down on the Iraq war these days but, crucially, that wasn’t the case when it was actually happening. At that point, both Labour and the Tories were all for it.
The Lib Dems are also the only political group that’s consistently advocated proportional representation, and their failure to gain traction there may be the biggest disaster of the lot. It’s because of the first-past-the-post voting system that neither Labour nor the Conservative party can split without facing electoral annihilation. So Cameron called the Brexit referendum to keep the Tories together, and the majority of Labour MPs remain part of an organisation they believe to be ineptly or even malevolently led.
The energy required to keep the Conservative and Labour parties ostensibly united is tearing Britain and Europe apart. Meanwhile the hapless and laughable irrelevance of the only political movement properly addressing the country’s biggest problems is a fascinating manifestation of our looming national disaster.
You know I rail against Donald Trump a lot, and don’t get me wrong he is utterly and completely evil.
But the thing is on balance I prefer Donald Trump’s evil to our own country’s Tory evil.
Why? Because his evil is so blatant that it’s impossible for any sensible person to ignore it. It’s brazen, loud, arrogant, in-your-face, fuck-you evil obviously designed to make everyone else hate the prick while galvanising his increasingly narrow base of fanatical devotees who the rest of humanity would much rather pretend don’t exist out of shame of sharing a species with them.
That’s terrific evil because you know it’s there.
The Tories’ brand of evil is far worse because it’s precisely as disgustingly evil as Trump but it’s so benign and outright boring and grey that most people just seem to tune it out. They’re doing horrible things but because they do it in such a nondescript and mind-numbingly boring fashion it either makes most people jut tune it into the background white noise, or it dresses itself in such a generically ‘standard’ look that it makes otherwise sensible people just go along with it.
Like, Trump’s fans are morons but the divide is obvious. Anyone who supports him has a galloping case of the crazies and everyone who doesn’t knows that about them and pick it out immediately.
With a Tory voter you can be talking to them for hours and they’re a perfectly reasonable and friendly and personable person and it’s only later that you realise what fucking horrors they willingly vote for and it shatters your idea of them.
The hardest evil to fight is the evil that is so boring that most people don’t even realise it exists.
That’s the Tories.
Trump is obviously evil and the divide between those who know that and those who think it’s worth the destruction of America just to ‘trigger’ liberals is clear as day, the battle lines easily defined.
Now I’ve written this and tagged it with Trump-related hashtags it’s going to be fun seeing the Trump loyalists precisely prove my point by embarrassing themselves in the notes of this one.
Britons Who Show ‘Extreme EU Loyalty’ Should Be Tried For Treason, Demands Tory MEP:
Who the fuck even needs satire any more when you have real politicians being this dumb in public?
The ‘Tories think about offering Nando’s discount card to young people to join their party’ thing was good for a laugh, but it underlies a fucked up message that the Tories apparently think so little of the young that they believe they can almost irreparably fuck over an entire generation with their policies but that a promise of cheaper chicken would be enough for that generation to forgive them and pay to throw their lot in with the hideous bastards.