Category: politics

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well, it was only a matter of time before this happened to Matt Hancock

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so on the day that a bunch of Tories are all launching their bids to become the next prime minister, let’s have a look at some of the candidates!

– Michael Gove: currently embroiled in scandal because he did cocaine 20 years ago and apparently this is a bigger problem than the fact that he’s an incompetent twat

– Jeremy Hunt: has kindly just announced that he plans to limit abortions to 12 weeks – coming from a man who spent the best part of the last 10 years destroying the NHS

– Matt Hancock: is already a meme and an app, gave people stroopwafels at his campaign launch, has the support of Judge Rinder (basically the British Judge Judy)

– Dominic Raab: self-proclaimed non-feminist, has a shit hashtag (#ReadyForRaab), has a lot of negative thoughts about Brexit negotiations despite the fact that he was LITERALLY Brexit Secretary

Rory Stewart: probably the best out of the bunch, keeps filming himself walking around Britain harassing innocent by-standers into debating with him, basically a wannabe Romantic poet, did opium once but this isn’t as much of an issue as Gove’s cocaine

– Esther McVey: idk but Lorraine Kelley couldn’t pretend to like her for thirty seconds on live TV

– Andrea Leadsom: people still annoyed at her for saying that Theresa May wouldn’t be a good PM because she doesn’t have children last time she ran for leader

– Boris Johnson: self-explanatory

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in a strange twist of fate, one of the candidates to become our next prime minister seems to be a nerdy, awkward etonian who has the face of a wallace and gromit character – and he’s become a huge twitter meme

Rory Stewart is going round parts of the UK (on #RoryWalks), posting about it on twitter which has led to gentle teasing:

And we have found out that he’s been faking selfie videos for no obvious reason:

He has a strange affinity for T. E. Lawrence and romantic poets, partially evidenced by this bizarre photo:

no one really knows what to do with this meme man (as he’s very unlikely to become prime minister) but he is entertaining at any rate…?

beau–brummell: Interpretative dance to Theres…

beau–brummell:

Interpretative dance to Theresa May’s resignation speech adihfoudsfhsdouf

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theoppositeofadults:

theoppositeofadults:

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he snapped

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Basically what we’ve learned from our EU election results is that Remainers want to remain and Leavers want to leave. And the country has about 50% of each of them.

Boris Johnson: UK will leave EU in October, de…

Boris Johnson: UK will leave EU in October, deal or no deal:

Boris Johnson there willing to financially ruin the country he wants to lead just to make himself seem more appealing to the maniacs he needs the backing of in order to get that power.

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rip theresa may we hardly knew you xxxx