Category: Labour Party

I’m trying to think of the worst possible people for the job that both Labour and the Liberal Democrats could pick to be their next leaders so I can put a bet on it because hey, if they’re going to fuck up and take everyone down into bullshit and misery with them I might as well make some money out of it.

I really need to catch up on internal Labour party politics before their leadership contest starts.

My current level of knowledge of about 99% of the PLP is “I recognise the name but couldn’t tell you much of fucking anything about any of them.”

And if they’re deciding which of them is going to lead the opposition to Johnson’s majority and try to destroy it at the next election (fuck that feels like it’s still a lifetime away) I should probably start getting to know who these people are.

I know on 202 seats to the Tories’ 365 the notion of Labour being able to stop Johnson doing anything he fucking well pleases is now a fruitless endeavour because those numbers are horrifying.

But I’m just wondering how much more ineffective than the baseline useless they’ll be rendered by the upcoming hysterical shit-flinging blood-soaked civil war that their impending leadership contest is inevitably going to be.

Cause you know this fucking thing isn’t going to be pretty. It’s going to be a fucking shithow in every possible way and my worry is that when they finally resolve it amongst themselves they’re going to turn around to face the Tories and realise they’ve got nothing left to save because the Tory majority has fucking destroyed everything while Labour have been settling which one of them is going to bicker with Johnson every Wednesday for 5 of the longest years of all of our collective lives.

For clarification:

I am not a Liberal Democrat.

With every general election, including this coming one, my only wish is that the Liberal Democrats and Labour both collectively get their fucking acts together and realise that as much as they may dislike a lot about one another, they need each other electorally to shut the fucking Tories down.

The Liberal Democrats mostly do best in constituencies where Labour isn’t competitive and vice versa.

My own ideology drifts in some nebulous dead zone between the two parties and I’m in a safe Tory constituency so my actual vote means approximately fuck all in the grand scheme of anything.

I like Labour, and I hate Labour.

I like the Liberal Democrats, and I hate the Liberal Democrats.

I just want the fucking Tories gone and have zero faith that either Labour on its own or the Lib Dems on their own can do it but that working together they can.

But every election they seem to spend more time at each others throats than anything else, both blaming each other for shit the Tories are responsible for.

As for why I seem to speak more in favour of the Lib Dems and tend to be pretty harsh on Labour?

Well it’s a combination of my own inherently contrarian dickhead nature, my lack of faith in Jeremy Corbyn to be able to organise a piss-up in a brewery let alone a functioning government, and the fact that the internet already has armies of Corbyn-loyal loudmouths ready to shout his praises like he’s the second coming and scream down anyone who dares suggest otherwise.

Adding my own voice into that howling whirlwind will add nothing.

It’s like why I’m harsher than necessary whenever I talk about Bernie Sanders; because I think so many of his most avid supporters are veering into cult-like hero worship if they’re not there already and even if they don’t listen or respond with basically this:

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… I still think it needs to be said to them regardless so maybe at some point some of it might filter in and they’ll realise hero-worshipping any politician is inherently fucking ludicrous.

The fact anyone thinks Labour won’t go back on promises or perform phenomena cock-ups if they get into power is hilarious and infuriating to me.

So I do this to myself, even though I know every post I ever make in favour of the Liberal Democrats will attract the “bUt In cOaLitioN….” responses because some people have no sense of political nuance and love to erroneously try and formulate a trend from one data point even though that isn’t how anything works.

“They went into coalition with the Tories once, therefore they’ll either always do it every time or they are themselves Tories” is inherently flawed logic.

Honestly I’m on the verge of starting to respond to “bUt In cOaLitioN….” with just a series of stiff European uppercuts to the face.

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God I don’t even wanna know what the fucking notes on this one are going to end up being like….

Labour party circa yesterday: The Lib Dems are evil yellow Tory quisling traitors for giving the Tory party the December election they want!

Labour party circa today: We are now agreeing to have a December election.

And this, ladies and gentlemen, is why I largely don’t take any notice of dumb Labour attack lines on the Lib Dems; because so often it’s just noise for the sake of making noise.

My politics wavers between Lib Dem and Labour with no permanent home so I hate it when they end up fighting each other but on this one at least with more thought into it I think the Lib Dems are a bit more wrong than Labour is right now.

The logical option, if the Lib Dems think that Corbyn as a leading figure won’t be able to get enough Tory backers to secure him a post-no confidence majority to get Brexit fucked off into the sea and call a GE, is to back the No Confidence motion anyway and just let him try.

There’s no rule that says that if you can’t get a majority with one leader you have to immediately give power back to the guy you just no-confidenced out of the job. Give Corbyn as leader a go of it and if the numbers actually don’t work out then it’d be time to insist on a different person to be caretaker PM.

Because I honestly do believe that if Corbyn proves he can get the numbers to work out for him, the Lib Dems will back him. Even if Swinson remains personally iffy, the other MPs will bow to the demands of their Remain membership and go for it regardless and she’ll have no choice at that point but to get on board and take the personal hit of the bad publicity.

The one I’m worried about is what Corbyn would do if he can’t get the numbers. I can’t say I’m totally confident that he’d willingly step aside for anyone else to try it. 

I hope I’m wrong about that, I really do, but there it is.

Nobody who’s already decided to hate the Lib Dems forever is ever gonna be intellectually honest enough to admit that the current refusal to immediately sign on to making Corbyn the caretaker PM isn’t out of some petty spiteful dislike of Corbyn, it’s purely a matter of pragmatism in the feeling that he won’t be able to get enough Tory MPs to line up behind him, especially with the inevitable Labour MPs (like Kate Hoey for one) who will openly defy him making any move to assume the power to cancel Brexit.

If he can’t command a basic majority of support for shutting down Brexit via Parliamentary means then this whole idea of a caretaker PM becomes null and void anyway as a lovely thought experiment that’ll never actually happen.

That’s why the Lib Dems have openly suggested letting either Father of the House Ken Clarke or Mother of the House Harriet Harman (both respected longterm Parliamentarians with broader appeal across the chamber than Corbyn has) be the caretaker PM because they’re less ‘divisive’ than Jeremy Corbyn is and have a greater chance of actually getting the amount of MPs they need to get behind them to get done what needs done.

Sorry but this “Lib Dems are only using this to gain power” line is total horseshit considering of the two parties the Lib Dems are saying someone else from one of the other major parties should lead this venture, while Labour are insisting it should be them and only them and nobody else.

Hell while I admit her immediate line on this whole idea wasn’t helpful she’s openly offering to meet personally with Corbyn to hammer this shit out so it’s clear that this isn’t some 100% total redline thing but that rather she’s approaching it with more caution than other parties. Might have something to do with how Labour has spent, what, at least 9 years now being more openly hostile to her party than they have been to the Tories.

Sounds like it’s not the Lib Dems who are trying to exploit this conflict to gain power for themselves.

But of course any sense of nuance in this has gotten buried in the sensationalism of headlines and the Labour faithful’s endless glee at having a nice excuse to post shitty anti-Lib Dem memes all over Facebook which is the exact opposite of what’s fucking needed when it’s in everyone’s best interest to try and get the two parties to see eye to eye.

Flooding social media with memes insulting Swinson and having Owen fucking Jones go on his little ranting sessions ever 5 minutes isn’t going to fucking help. We need to be sensible and let cooler heads work this shit out.

I’m like 99% sure that if it can be established that a Corbyn-led caretaker government against Brexit could get enough Tory MPs behind it to command the confidence of the Commons, the Lib Dems will agree to it as they should.

But until then it’s all kind of idle speculation so this narrative that’s immediately sprung up that No Deal is now entirely the Lib Dems fault because if they’d just agree to this right now Brexit could be stopped instantly is, once again, horseshit.

But I guess “any stick to beat the Lib Dems with” is just the default nature of Labour at this point so I don’t know what the fuck I expected really.

Why does it seem like Labour are more pissed off about the Lib Dems winning Brecon and Radnorshire than the Tories are about losing it and taking their new PM’s functioning majority down to 1?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Opinion_polling_for_the_next_United_Kingdom_general_election#Graphical_summary

Politics is kind of fucking crazy right now if you look at Westminster voting intention polling recently.

This is a very mixed bag in terms of ‘good thing’ or ‘bad thing’ opinions about it.

The good is that the Liberal Democrats are way up, that Tories are collapsing, that UKIP is dead, and to a lesser extent that Change UK are a total irrelevance.

The bad is that roughly one full quarter of the voting population are apparently willing to vote into Parliament members of a party that has no manifesto and absolutely no policy positions on anything that isn’t just complaining that Brexit hasn’t happened yet.

I may hate the Tories and be largely just sick of Labour in general but at least they actually have policies and ideas.

The Brexit Party is the height of pure anti-intellectualism in politics and it leading the polling is nothing short of fucking dangerous.

On the one hand the Labour Party won the Peterborough by-election and kept the Brexit Party out of Parliament for now.

On the other hand, almost 10,000 people just voted to elect an MP from a party with absolutely no manifesto whatsoever and thus no actual position on literally any issue outside of wanting Brexit to be given to them harder and faster.

This is the terrifying rise of pure anti-intellectual fuckery in our politics now. People voting on blind ill-informed faith on one subject based purely on emotion and hurt feelings.

If we don’t soundly defeat this bullshit, we’re all turbo-fucked people.