Category: Conservative Party

Because not content with selecting a ludicrous buffoonish psychopath like Boris Johnson as Prime Minister, apparently some fucking maniacs actually want Angry Cheese Lady Liz Truss to be the Chancellor of the fucking Exchequer.

These people really are the absolute worst and stupidest examples of humanity and we’re letting them pick the next fucking government entirely amongst themselves.

We’re all dead, people. We’re just dead. We’re alive but we’re dead. Game over man, game over!

Tory members ‘back death penalty and think Trump would make a good PM’:

I just… I’m sorry but I don’t see how “Tory members are marauding psychopaths with no stable grip on objective reality” is worthy of being headline news.

I just thought it was a generally understood thing to the point that nobody needed to actually say it out loud because we all knew it and all had it in our minds whenever discussing that gaggle of absolute fucking monsters.

At this point I want Jeremy Hunt to become PM for some very simple reasons:

  1. He’s objectively a tad more tolerable as a public figure than Boris Johnson is.
  2. I’d win money on that bet I placed ages ago.
  3. We’d get even more moments of newsreaders accidentally saying ‘cunt’ on live TV when talking about him.

I mean at least now the weird fawning over Rory Stewart can end. It was more than a bit creepy and utterly stupid to begin with anyway.

Yes when asked during this leadership campaign he managed to sound moderately more sensible about Brexit than the rest of this gaggle of loathsome fucking monsters but that’s a ludicrously low bar to clear to the point where I’d wager almost everyone could do it without much effort at all.

Outside of that he’s still a generic Tory with all the bullshit that goes with that, and given recent polling showed that Tory voters are apparently more than willing to risk breaking up the UK and destroying the Tory party itself just to get their Brexit, nobody should be surprised that a Tory who’s capable of paying vague lip service to not setting everything on fire upon the satanic altar of Brexit ended up not making it to the finale of the Tory leadership contest.

We all knew we were going to get an absolute fucking cunt as our next Prime Minister, this changes nothing.

We’re all still fucked. Rory Stewart wasn’t a beacon of hope, he just seemed that way when stood directly next to slimeballs like Hunt and Gove or the dribbling ignoramus that is Boris Johnson.

Abandon all hope, it’s easier to accept the inevitable that way.

… why the fuck am I watching this debate? 

I hate all of these people and have no say in which of them becomes overlord, so what the fuck is the point of me wasting an hour of my time?

Politics is kind of fucking crazy right now if you look at Westminster voting intention polling recently.

This is a very mixed bag in terms of ‘good thing’ or ‘bad thing’ opinions about it.

The good is that the Liberal Democrats are way up, that Tories are collapsing, that UKIP is dead, and to a lesser extent that Change UK are a total irrelevance.

The bad is that roughly one full quarter of the voting population are apparently willing to vote into Parliament members of a party that has no manifesto and absolutely no policy positions on anything that isn’t just complaining that Brexit hasn’t happened yet.

I may hate the Tories and be largely just sick of Labour in general but at least they actually have policies and ideas.

The Brexit Party is the height of pure anti-intellectualism in politics and it leading the polling is nothing short of fucking dangerous.

With the Tories almost inevitably with their new leader set to move harshly into the ‘No Deal Brexit, woo!’ camp of thought right alongside Farage’s gaggle of stupid malicious cunts, the Labour party is going to have to really pull it’s fucking thumb out of its arse and get on board the ‘just stop Brexit’ train here.

The smaller parties like the Lib Dems and Greens in England, the SNP in Scotland and Plaid in Wales are going to need Labour as one of the two major parties to fucking get on side to stop Boris fucking Johnson or whatever hard Brexiting shitstirrer the psychotic Tories install as overlord from yanking us out of the EU with no deal and fucking the entire country to satisfy them and their owns’ private interests.

  • Tories brought low by their blithering incompetence.
  • UKIP sinking further into pointlessness and obscurity.
  • Labour’s stupid plan of stubbornly fence-sitting fucking them over.
  • Greens making huge gains.
  • Liberal Democrats making huger gains and doing the best of all parties.

I love being able to look at election results and not feel overwhelming misery.

Now we just have to endure a solid week of Labour fans crying that the BBC wasn’t sucking Corbyn’s cock with praise for losing 52 councilors and 6 councils (because apparently saying both major parties took losses is EVIL PRO-TORY BIAS), and headline after headline from people who seem to once again be suddenly realising that maybe the Lib Dems aren’t dead and buried… the same thing everyone in the media seems to realise every fucking time the Lib Dems actually do good to okay in elections before instantly forgetting the party exists until the next go-around.

Oh and of course the 500 smug tossers making the “I think we should re-run the elections because I don’t like the result” non-joke about the Lib Dem gains that they always make while always seeming to think they’re the first one to ever say the most genius thing ever said.

So when Theresa May finally, finally, finally decides to actually fuck off this is the reported potential list of challengers for the Tory leadership:

  • Jeremy Hunt
  • Sajid Javid
  • Amber Rudd
  • Michael Gove
  • Matt Hancock
  • Liz Truss
  • Gavin Williamson
  • Andrea Leadsom
  • Stephen Barclay
  • Penny Mordaunt
  • Boris Johnson
  • Dominic Raab

It’s like a who’s who of utter lunatics, nobodies and psychotics that I wouldn’t let run a fucking bath for me for fear of them managing to drown themselves in the tub while trying.

The only ones I can’t think of something absolutely fucking hideous, or absolutely fucking stupid, or both, about are the two whose names I genuinely don’t even think I’d ever heard before I saw this list. Hi Matt Hancock and Stephen Barclay, I’m sure I’ll hate you too once I find out who the fuck you even are.

This leadership contest is going to be a fucking clown car pileup of epic proportions.

Me: Okay there can’t be any way British politics can get more insane and stupid right now, we’re at peak ludicrous.

8 Labour MPs and 3 Tory MPs: Hold our beers.