Politics is kind of fucking crazy right now if you look at Westminster voting intention polling recently.
This is a very mixed bag in terms of ‘good thing’ or ‘bad thing’ opinions about it.
The good is that the Liberal Democrats are way up, that Tories are collapsing, that UKIP is dead, and to a lesser extent that Change UK are a total irrelevance.
The bad is that roughly one full quarter of the voting population are apparently willing to vote into Parliament members of a party that has no manifesto and absolutely no policy positions on anything that isn’t just complaining that Brexit hasn’t happened yet.
I may hate the Tories and be largely just sick of Labour in general but at least they actually have policies and ideas.
The Brexit Party is the height of pure anti-intellectualism in politics and it leading the polling is nothing short of fucking dangerous.
With the Tories almost inevitably with their new leader set to move harshly into the ‘No Deal Brexit, woo!’ camp of thought right alongside Farage’s gaggle of stupid malicious cunts, the Labour party is going to have to really pull it’s fucking thumb out of its arse and get on board the ‘just stop Brexit’ train here.
The smaller parties like the Lib Dems and Greens in England, the SNP in Scotland and Plaid in Wales are going to need Labour as one of the two major parties to fucking get on side to stop Boris fucking Johnson or whatever hard Brexiting shitstirrer the psychotic Tories install as overlord from yanking us out of the EU with no deal and fucking the entire country to satisfy them and their owns’ private interests.
Tories brought low by their blithering incompetence.
UKIP sinking further into pointlessness and obscurity.
Labour’s stupid plan of stubbornly fence-sitting fucking them over.
Greens making huge gains.
Liberal Democrats making huger gains and doing the best of all parties.
I love being able to look at election results and not feel overwhelming misery.
Now we just have to endure a solid week of Labour fans crying that the BBC wasn’t sucking Corbyn’s cock with praise for losing 52 councilors and 6 councils (because apparently saying both major parties took losses is EVIL PRO-TORY BIAS), and headline after headline from people who seem to once again be suddenly realising that maybe the Lib Dems aren’t dead and buried… the same thing everyone in the media seems to realise every fucking time the Lib Dems actually do good to okay in elections before instantly forgetting the party exists until the next go-around.
Oh and of course the 500 smug tossers making the “I think we should re-run the elections because I don’t like the result” non-joke about the Lib Dem gains that they always make while always seeming to think they’re the first one to ever say the most genius thing ever said.
So when Theresa May finally, finally, finally decides to actually fuck off this is the reported potential list of challengers for the Tory leadership:
It’s like a who’s who of utter lunatics, nobodies and psychotics that I wouldn’t let run a fucking bath for me for fear of them managing to drown themselves in the tub while trying.
The only ones I can’t think of something absolutely fucking hideous, or absolutely fucking stupid, or both, about are the two whose names I genuinely don’t even think I’d ever heard before I saw this list. Hi Matt Hancock and Stephen Barclay, I’m sure I’ll hate you too once I find out who the fuck you even are.
This leadership contest is going to be a fucking clown car pileup of epic proportions.
To my mind, the Lib Dems are right about so much and yet it does them no good. They consistently opposed the Iraq war, for example, which is now an extremely mainstream view. Obviously the Labour party is very down on the Iraq war these days but, crucially, that wasn’t the case when it was actually happening. At that point, both Labour and the Tories were all for it.
The Lib Dems are also the only political group that’s consistently advocated proportional representation, and their failure to gain traction there may be the biggest disaster of the lot. It’s because of the first-past-the-post voting system that neither Labour nor the Conservative party can split without facing electoral annihilation. So Cameron called the Brexit referendum to keep the Tories together, and the majority of Labour MPs remain part of an organisation they believe to be ineptly or even malevolently led.
The energy required to keep the Conservative and Labour parties ostensibly united is tearing Britain and Europe apart. Meanwhile the hapless and laughable irrelevance of the only political movement properly addressing the country’s biggest problems is a fascinating manifestation of our looming national disaster.
The ‘Tories think about offering Nando’s discount card to young people to join their party’ thing was good for a laugh, but it underlies a fucked up message that the Tories apparently think so little of the young that they believe they can almost irreparably fuck over an entire generation with their policies but that a promise of cheaper chicken would be enough for that generation to forgive them and pay to throw their lot in with the hideous bastards.