Category: Boris Johnson

I’m watching Boris Johnson’s speech to the Conservative Party conference, you know, because I hate myself. And all I can think is:

This man is a moron and the idiots clapping for him are even bigger morons.


I mean, are we even still acknowledging Boris Johnson as Prime Minister?

He’s lost every vote in Parliament, cost himself any semblance of a majority in the process, tried to shut the whole thing down because he wasn’t getting his way, got slapped down hard by the Supreme Court, and is being called on to resign by basically everybody who isn’t also a total psychopath like he is.

As far as I’m concerned our country right now has no Prime Minister.

So in yesterday’s episode of Brexit, the Prime Minister just… didn’t turn up to a joint press conference scheduled with Luxembourg’s PM Xavier Bettel because of some protesters outside.

Every opposition MP: “Will the Prime Minister confirm that he will obey the law of the land and ask for an extension to Article 50 if he’s unable to negotiate a deal by October 19th?”

Every Tory MP: “Of course the government will obey the law, it’s dumb to even suggest that the Prime Minister would openly break the law.”

Boris Johnson: “I’m totally going to break the law because I don’t like it.”

And nobody is remotely surprised.

If you need proof that Boris Johnson and Brexit is turning the Tories into a narrow-minded gaggle of extremist lunatics who will gladly sacrifice everything on the sacred altar of No Deal, consider that a couple of years ago some of my friends on social media would have cut their dicks off before posting anything praising the Tories as they were staunch UKIP fans.

Now they’re all sharing every pro-No Deal or pro-Boris shitpost the Conservatives’ official page puts up.

the Johnson Premiership so far:

day one: Johnson loses his first vote in parliament, loses his majority as a Tory MP literally walks over to the opposition bench in the middle of a debate, and then sacks 21 more Tories (including 2 former chancellors and Winston Churchill’s grandson)

day 2: Johnson loses another vote which means he’s legally not allowed to leave the EU without a deal, he then loses his third vote in a row meaning he can’t call a general election.

An MP yells at him in parliament for being a racist which was pretty great, and he completely screws up at PMQs.

MPs also accidentally pass the Kinnock amendment, meaning they’ll probably be voting on Theresa May’s deal for the fourth time.

day 3: (so far) his own brother resigns as an MP because fuck family loyalty

I keep saying “there’s no such thing as a decent human being in the Tory party” and thank you to Boris Johnson for making that true once again by removing the Tory whip from any of them who had the basic decency to stand up to your maniacal thoughtless bullshit.

So… I wonder if Boris Johnson is enjoying holding the office he’s been after for so long….

General election if No Deal gets blocked…. or as any sane fucking person would call it: a win/win scenario.

I will gladly take that offer, thanks. Blocking a disastrous No Deal Brexit and getting a fresh shot at turfing this clown and his gaggle of sycophantic psychopaths out of power.