I want to make a flippant joke about Boris Johnson being PM but actually I’m just livid that a racist, lying, cheating, backstabbing blancmange of a man with the spine of a blobfish and the conscience of a discarded teatowel is about to become our unelected PM.

This is the same man whose list of racist comments is longer than his list of qualifications. The man who was fired from his columnist job for falsifying quotes. Who’s lied and cheated his way to the highest office in the country. And all in the name of democracy, apparently.