So of the remaining candidates:

  • Michael Gove: wants to reopen the deal, negotiate a Canada+ deal. EU says no negotiations. Currently being blasted for taking illegal drugs years back, while writing articles about how the drug laws should be tightened.
  • Matt Hancock: health secretary, absolutely refuses to have a no deal brexit. It’s either a no brexit or a deal under his leadership. Probably the least insane out of the current field
  • Jeremy Hunt: almost as gaff prone as Boris. Wants to reopen the withdrawal bill. Would leave with a no deal. Came second in the first round.
  • Sajid Javid: who the Tories use to claim they are diverse and not just all Eton boys. Wants a high tech border and even promised not to make the Irish pay for it. Probably slightly less insane than most of the candidates
  • Boris Johnson: based his brexit stance on how many votes he could get to become PM. Will leave at the end of October with or without a deal. No £39b divorce payment, no Irish backstop. Trump 2.0
  • Dominic Raab: would want to renegotiate the deal, shutdown parliament to force a no deal. Former brexit minister who resigned after finding out the deal he was apart of wasn’t popular
  • Rory Stewart: MP who pretends to take a selfie. Wants to try Theresa May’s deal in parliament again and create a citizen’s assembly to break the deadlock.